That's That

As I press 'Go Mobile' on the screen I re-read the address, I know it. Not a regular caller but something in the back of my mind is recognising the number and the road in combination.

The job is a cardiac arrest, query Purple call (Purple - may have been dead for sometime)

We pull up and grab the kit, I know which door to the block it is. I head straight for the stairs not needing to look at the numbers. I already know its the orange door on the first floor.

We're met by a family member who shows us to a tiny room at the back of the flat. The man is lay on his back on the floor, very pale, mouth open, eyes starring blankly upwards. The family can't tell us how long he's been there. They only came round because they couldn't get him on the phone.

He had been feeling unwell last night, apparently having trouble with his breathing. He had decided to sleep sitting up in the armchair which partially blocks our entrance to the room. The small table next to it is littered with evidence of his illness, GTN spray, ventolin inhalers, aspirin.

We feel his temperature, he is still slightly warm to touch so we start to go through the motions which we know will be futile but at least we can say we tried. He is asystolic throughout and after 20 minutes we explain to the family what will happen. They knew he was gone as well but tell us they appreciate our efforts.

Control are informed and the police notified as is standard practise. I grab a blanket and the report computer to head back up. I'm racking my brain to think about when I saw him last. I think it was an urgent call for him to go to Holy Hospital for assessment as his GP wasn't happy with something, was it his heart? Breathing or something less obvious considering the position I find myself in now?

I had reasoned before that I felt detached from cardiac arrests and DOA's (dead on arrival) because I didn't know the person. As I didn't know them I was unaffected by their death, it's my job and that's that.

But this was different. I knew this person, not in any great detail but I had sat and talked to them and seen them very much alive, he may have told me about his family and what he did in the prime of his life. And yet I still felt unaffected by his death and my role in seeing the end of his life.

I guess I'm still learning that its my job and that's that.